One of the worst things you can feel is feeling lost, as if you are not you anymore. Sometimes you dont know the reason, you suspect but never understand why are you feeling the way you are.
It may have been for days, weeks or months and you hate to keep feeling this way, but you dont know how to feel anything but this. You may go out with your friends and forget the feeling but as soon as you come home is as if you never left your room.
You keep thinking ‘Why Am I feeling this?’ ‘What happened that made me feel this way?’ ‘Maybe I just need to sleep’ but it continues in the morning, you have not felt alive since the beginning of the year. There were some moments that made you feel okay but those moments were less than the times were you dont.
Maybe it is just a sadness that will pass, maybe it is more, but you dont know because you dont even understand what you are feeling. You call a friend that may help you understand but at the end of the day they dont feel the way you feel at that time and the only person that can understand your feelings is you.
You look forward to hang out with your friends but they cancel or they ghosted you after they say yes and you never know at what time or where. You wonder why they ghosted you, what you did wrong or if you are just being dramatic, but you tell yourself ‘At least I tried’. You want to invite other friends but you are afraid they will do the same, even though you know they won’t
You are caring too much or too little. You are super chill or super dramatic. You get stressed about every little thing that is not in control or in complete control, You want mess in your life but not THAT mess.
Your feelings are a mess, your life is a mess, you are a mess. My feelings are a mess, my life is a mess, I’m a mess and so is this entry.