It Feels So Scary Getting Old

In less than a year I will be 20 and I am so scared of just thinking that in three years I will be out of college and probably working, when now I’m in my bed staring at the ceiling with no emotions thinking that I don’t exist and that the quarantine put a pause in my life and time is not passing.

It drives me crazy just thinking about the future. Am I going to get my dream job? Am I even going to get a job? Did the pandemic ruin my chances at being successful in my career? Do I need to change my dreams? Do I need to change my plans? Will I even get the chance of meeting new people in college again? Will all my classes be online for the rest of college?

I feel like time is not passing and everything is in pause, but it is not, in less than a month I will be in classes again and I probably wont even notice how the time has passed until it is the end of year, by that time it will only be three months before I turn 20 and I’m not sure If I’m ready to be an adult, especially after/in a pandemic.

It is so scary getting old, in three years I will probably not be this mess, maybe I will get my life a little together and hopefully have a job, but in the meantime I’ll be in my house staring at the ceiling waiting for the beginning of the semester

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